Emails I wish I could send ~ Part One

Dear School Chum,

You and I never really had a falling out so to speak. I just hated the way you couldn’t be honest with yourself, or me.

The two years we went to school together still ranks high on the list of “Worst times of my life”.

Can you explain to me how you could be friends with me when no-one else is around? But when your sporto douche bag friends were around you made fun of me, and my inability to play any sport, and my glasses, and my nerdy/geeky interests.

Can you also explain to me how when the other girls were making fun of me and calling me a “Dirty Lezzo”, “Lezzo Nerd Freak” you could just stand there, saying nothing. And yet as soon as they had left you were consoling me? I told you I wasn’t gay. You were popular, you could have saved me, but you didn’t. I swore I would never be like you. I would never turn my back on a friend. You taught me that. I thank you for making me a better person in that regard.

For years, even after I graduated from high school, I would never admit that I went to that school. I had convinced many of my school friends that I was there all the way through school. I wanted so much for that to be true. The relentless bullying still effects me today. I don’t blame you though, I don’t feel angry, anymore. I feel sorry for you. I feel sorry that you were brainwashed. That, even though the rumours about my sexuality were not true, you were afraid.

What if this happens to your daughter? What if someone bullies your child? What if she is gay? What will you do then? Disown her? Laugh at her? Treat her the way you treated me? I certainly hope not.

I hope that you have learnt to be more tolerant. That life has taught you to be more open minded. I hope you didn’t have to learn this the hard way.

I wish you and your family well. I doubt you will remember this time as well I as I do. Knowing the person you were, I doubt you even recall who I am.

I also hope that no one has trodden on you, made you feel worthless or ashamed for being different. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.

I have learnt to accept that I am a little left of centre. I have also learnt that a lot people like that about me. That being different is better than being the same. Thanks to you and your friends, I am actually a better person. I guess I should be grateful that you made me cry. Now there’s a positive spin on things.

Yours truly,

P

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