Aussie Citizenship Test: Pinky’s Answers
1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin of, the term ‘died in the arse’
One of my personal favourite sayings. Has loads of meanings but it usually means something stopped working.
Example: “My mobile phone died in the arse today”
2. What is a “bloody little beauty”?
Something is really, really good.
Friend: “Your horse came first in the Melbourne Cup!”
You: “You bloody little beauty”
3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?
None of these terms are related.
To chuck a sickie: means to call into work sick, even though you are not sick.
To chuck a spaz: means to lose your temper
To chuck a U-ey: To perform a u-turn .
4. Explain the following passage: ‘In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo.’
On the afternoon of last christmas, relatives came over to our house to take part in a BBQ and a few classes of wine and/or beer. After taking an antacid and a short nap, we commenced the opening of christmas presents. We ate all the chocolate, biscuits, and lollies (candy) that were available. We then indulged in a few more can’s of beer and mum lost her temper after Father and Steven had an argument and engaged in physical violence.
5. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash?
One half of a slab per person is required.
6. Complete the following sentences:
a) ‘If the van’s rockin’ don’t bother ? Knocking.
b) You’re going home in the back of a ? Divvy Van
c) Fair crack of the ? whip
7. I’ve had a gutful and I can’t be fagged. Discuss
I have had enough and I cannot be bothered any further with this activity
8. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?
I have experience both.
9. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard ‘up on blocks’? Is his name Bruce and does he have a wife called Cheryl?
no, no, no, and no.
10. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?
No, when I was a kid back in the 1980’s yes. But now…no.
11. What are the ingredients in a rissole?
Mince meat, onion, garlic, tomato sauce and an egg
12. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.
Bite a corner off the of the Tim Tam. (See very large picture below). For a Tim Tam Slam, you then use the Tim Tam like a straw and suck your coffee through the two bitten area’s and die of awesome feelings of deliciousness.
If you are not engaging in the Slamming of the Tim Tam, you can eat your Tim Tam as you please. It’s a personal thing.
Does a step-mother count?
14. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else’s beer that has been flogged from a bath full of ice?
Back in my youth yes. Minus the 3 bean bloody salad and the flogged beer replaced with flogged wine and not from a bath. I have pinched a few “girly drinks” from the odd bath or two.
15. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people’s meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?
It’s a chuck in and share kind of situation.
16. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter ‘b’ is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?
Beetroot. Or as my mother says: “Nothing beets a root”
17. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?
Yes, yes, yes, and yes.
18. Is it possible to ‘prang a car’ while doing ‘circle work’?
Oh yes it is, especially if you’re an idiot.
19. Who would you like to crack on to?
If you know me, you know the answer.
20. Who is the most Australian: Kevin ‘Bloody’ Wilson, John ‘True Blue’ Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?
They are all sadly very Ostrayan
21. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool?
I’m not 12.
22. What does “sinkin piss at a mates joint” and “getten para” mean?
Drinking at a friends house and getting incredibly drunk.
23. How far would you wear your mocko’s?
Back yard only?
To the letter box? AT A STRETCH
To the milk bar for a packed of winni blues?
To the movies?
To the shops (large shopping centre)
To the pub?